[-A Beautiful Mind-]

Lately, i've been thru nasyid rehearsals that i'll be performing this saturday evening at Kolej Rahman Putra (KRP). There's 4 people that representing IRFAN (a club collaborating all nasyid team in UTM Skudai), me and the other 3 new batches. Putting the pride of the most respectful nasyid team in UTM on my shoulder isn't an easy job. Man.. i'm the solo @ harmony, meaning, i'll be the henchman of the night. It's a piece of cake to say, we just have to sing 2 songs, but the nerves.. Who knows ?

So what i have to do is to make sure i'll be as calm as i can, and the most important.. Don't lost the lyrics on stage :P

I've seen my supervisor. She's a young women maybe in the early 30's. When i walk thru and she offer me a seat, we begin our conversation. Things that came into my mind is that, the supervisor will be responsible to set up topic and study case for my final project, unluckily she doesn't. I'm now in a real damage headache, she tells me to think about it while at the same time she'll think of it too. I sought thru many website, luckily, bunch of past thesis and proposals did appear and the next problem, decision making. Sources not only can be found in websites, but from journals also. I need to content the topic and the local source i have. I'm afraid that the list of project name that i found is far up to date than my library references which is classical (books published around 1940s etc). Many things need to be consider too. Owh, forgot to tell. My project will be on Applied Maths, maybe i need to study other things besides maths too.. whaaa.. Pecah Kapla!!!

Shoking. After tired of thinking, i sat down at the lounge of PSZ and browse newspaper. When i glance to the headline, i saw "Hani Mohsin Dies At 33", omg ! man.. i just can't believe that. His voice, his motion his face, is still in my memory all the time. Maybe because of i watch Roda Impian alot. What ever it is, a heartiest condolence to his family. May Allah bless his soul.

Waaa.. PSM is just started. Today i just get announced about my supervisor who's going to guide me during the whole process. She is socalled Zaiton, hehe since i haven't met her, so i missed the fullname :P. As my application is upon Applied Maths, so she was appointed as her qualification is in that field also. I was randomly selected to be under her super vision since i'm kinda confuse to make a choice. Well. as the supervisor is on, so what i'm going to do now is to embark a move. All the best to me.

Last nite, out of sudden. I log on my YM and saw her id blink on my instant messaging dashboard. I just click on it and started to PING to get response & she PING me back. After a long time, we start the chat and talking about our past and future including her new relationship. She told me that she's in a dillema as her new bf mean for a suprise for her upcoming 21st birthday, he want to give a visit. At the same time, she got an occasion to undergo and it's quiet important. You know what, they are fighting.

After that, we talk about more personnel matter. Heart to heart feeling. I figured out, that she still have feelings for me even though she dump me at the first place. Then, i started to investigate the status of me in her heart and I compared about me and the other boyfriends she have, and truely i'm no special anymore. But, i felt more confuse to know that she just got jealous when i want to date another girl. Since i can't expect anything from her, how can she make me suffer like this? It's not fair at all just to know she declared a new bf after we broke up and I stayed single until now.

Our conversation continue on the phone after that. I do missed her pampered voice, the way she talk just resemble someone I really love, long time ago. The things that I really can't afford is my feelings on that moment. I feel like just dont want to let her go, just felt like to drag her back into my empty life, whether i know those is kind of impossible. To track back my memories, I just remembered she told me that, he and she just can't be apart. An affirmation that she never do aginst me. Therefore, my heart keep on telling me to give up, so do my best friends. It's truely hard, but a man like me has nothing to loose. Maybe to let one go, is to have another better girl in my life. Who knows.

I want to promise to myself, that i wont ruin her relationship either to plunder her self by winning her heart again. For me, time that past, just let it be. It's time to begin a new chapter of my love story and all i have to do is to pray for her blissful life with him, her chosen one.

As'kum semua,